Glenn Quagmire
Story Glenn Quagmire ("Quagmire" for short) is the sex-crazed pervert neighbor of the Griffins who is obsessed with Peter's wife, Lois. "Handsome" Glenn Quagmire is a former member of the U.S. Navy, which is where he met Peter. He currently works as an airline pilot. Quagmire is 5 feet, 6 inches tall and currently resides at 29 Spooner Street, Quahog, Rhode Island He has pictures of Lois in his house, including on the inside of his closet door. He was once arrested for peeping on Lois in the girls' bathroom. He once said that if he could be with any woman in the world, he would choose Taylor Hanson, not realizing that Taylor Hanson is actually a guy. During a stint on the Bachelorette, Quagmire brought the Bachelorette to his mother's, where he wanted a three-way with them. This hint at an incestous relationship with his mother could answer several questions about Quagmire's sexual obsessions (though raising many more). Glenn is often seen saying 'all right' while rocking his head back and forwards in an amusing way. He was also briefly married to a maniac named Joan. She died after clutching onto Death's arm. Quagmire is currently a widower. He has a thing for feet. According to the Las Vegas CD, Quagmire has had sex with at least 600 women. He also occasionally visits the local prison so he can have sex with the female prisoners. Aside from Stewie, Glenn seems to be the fans second favorite character. Memorable Quotes *"Giggity." (possibly the most recognizable and most infamous catchphrase on the show; often followed by repeated "Giggitys" and then a "Goo.") *"All Right." *"Mellie Nuff is gay." *"Fat chicks need love too... but they gotta pay!" *"What's all the noise, boys?, I was just jerk....ed out of a sound sleep." *"I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through." *"Well, hel-Lois! Forgive me for pointing." *"Does this look like a Q to you?" (while showing Peter his penis) *"Dear diary--Jackpot!" *"I've never been with a Spanish chick before... Olé!" (note that when he said this, Glenn was actually having sex with Tricia Takanawa, who is Japanese.) *"Chech, chech, awwwww right" *Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. *"Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time." (after getting his penis stuck in a window) *"What the hell is CPR?"" *"I got a question for you. Why are you still here?" (after a woman in Quagmire's bed had just asked him what he does for a living) *"Fat chicks need love too...they just have to PAY!" *Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: Laughs You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. Pause Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God. *"Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around." *"Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!" *"Hey Peter, do you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody. Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D." Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it. *Quagmire: Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you. Lois: What? Quagmire: I'd do anything for you. *Peter:Hey, guys! Check it out. Quagmire's trying to get lucky. Quagmire: Hey, gorgeous! You want to come home with me? Lady: I'm with my husband. Quagmire: Lose the zero, get with the hero! (Husband punches Quagmire.) Quagmire: Little violent for you, don't you think? (Husband punches Quagmire again.) Quagmire: I'll be right over there. *Chris: I don't think I like feet as much as you do. Quagmire: Everybody likes feet. Quagmire, Glenn Quagmire, Glenn